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We’ve all made impulsive decisions that we regret—whether it’s a wild night out, a questionable outfit choice, or a hasty text that seemed like a good idea at the time. But for Alan Cumming, his biggest regret isn’t a bad haircut or a regrettable night out. Well, it’s something a little more… permanent: a tattoo! He once decided to ink his ex-lover’s name on his groin; this is something he’ll probably never forget (and not for the reasons you’d hope).
In 2016, the actor, known for his roles inThe Good WifeandThe Conquest of the South Pole, shared a humorous yet cringeworthy story about the tattoo he got. At the time, Cumming and his partner had only known each other for two weeks. But love—or what they thought was love—was in full swing, and the two decided to tattoo each other’s names on their groins.
Alan Cumming’s Groin Tattoo Regret: The Name He’ll Never Forget
Alan Cumming, who isbisexual, once decided to ink his ex-lover’s name on his groin. And as is the case with many ill-advised tattoos, this one would soon turn into the moment into a painful, permanent reminder.
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He shared the story in a candid chat with Seth Meyers (viaNZ Herald):
About 16 years ago, I met this boy and he and I had this very tempestuous relationship. Two weeks after knowing each other, we had our names tattooed on each other’s bodies, in our groin area, and I thought that was the most sensible thing I had ever done in my entire life.
If you’ve ever made a decision in the heat of passion and regretted it later, you know exactly where this is headed. Four months later, the relationship fizzled out—and so did the ink’s sentimental value. But the tattoo? That was a different story. AsThe Traitorshost further explained:
So then, four months after that, it [romance] was over. We just propelled each other away, and his name was Raven and I had Raven written on my groin.
Yes, Raven—a name now forever associated with Cumming’s short-lived romance. The latter’s friends, ever the supportive crew, tried to lighten the situation with some creative suggestions.
All my friends, who thought I was crazy, said, ‘Oh you can put o-u-s on the end, make it ravenous. You can put a ‘c’, make it craven. Or, once somebody said, ‘Take the ‘n’ off, make it raver…’
None of that sounded like a good solution to Cumming. So, instead of covering it up, he chose to go for the full removal—via laser. Spoiler alert: it was as agonizing as it sounds.“Eventually I got it removed by laser; it was horribly painful,” Cumming admitted.
And if that wasn’t enough,the actor, 59, also shared a hilarious update with Drew Barrymore during an appearance on her talk show.
When Tattoos Tell More Than a Story: Alan Cumming’s Hilarious Ink Tale
Alan Cumming’s tattoo tale is the kind of story that’ll make you laugh, cringe, and maybe even nod in understanding.
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While chatting withDrew Barrymoreon her show (viaThe Sun), Cumming opened up about this impulsive decision.“I had it removed from my body by laser,” he confessed, adding:
I met a young gentleman and we started a torrid affair, and after two weeks of knowing each other, we had our names tattooed on each other’s bodies.
But, here’s the kicker, though: when Cumming later reconnected with the same person—his ex named Raven—something truly hilarious happened. The actor shared:
What is hilarious is, a little later after that, I met up with Raven again, no judgements, I have needs. He asked, ‘Do you still have your tattoo honey?’ and I said no, and said ‘do you have yours?’ and he said ‘kinda.’
Now, you’re probably wondering what could possibly be “kinda” about a tattoo. Well, it turns out that Raven’s tattoo had gone through a transformation of its own. Cumming continued:
He pulled down his pants and right there where I had mine, it used to say Alan, and now it says balance.
Well, we all know the drill—relationships come and go, but tattoos? They hang around. So if you ever find yourself swept up in a whirlwind romance, maybe think twice before heading to the tattoo parlor. As Cumming’s story shows us, sometimes love really is temporary, but those tattoos? Not so much!
The Traitorsis streaming on Peacock Premium.
Siddhika Prajapati
Senior Journalist & Content Head
Articles Published :3310
With over 3,300 articles carved into the digital walls of FandomWire, Siddhika Prajapati excels at creating, curating, and elevating engaging stories. She takes pride in giving these stories a home and, of course, she’s got a Google Knowledge Panel to prove it!Whether it’s reviewing the latest drop on Netflix, Amazon Prime, or Apple TV+, or analyzing the cultural echoes of a streaming hit on Paramount+ or Max, Siddhika is always writing three steps ahead of the discourse.
